Life is Full of Decisions

My mind is swimming a a pool of decisions that need to be made, some right now, some this next year and a couple for the future. On top of that everyday is a busy day and here I sit at my computer wanting to write. I think I can sometimes organize my thoughts here and in a way I can "self talk" myself into organization. So, I sit here and say to myself, "Suzi,what have you always said about confusion because your God is not a God of confusion." Good point! This I know that as my life seems to spin and looks as if I am spinning off the track I can ALWAYS ALWAYS bring myself back to my time in the Word. I don't know if you've ever struggled with hot and cold times in your walk with the Lord but I still do. I still must fight my flesh and my lust daily and although I long for Him my busy life competes with my time with Him.So as I sit here and self talk myself through this I
know that what will be key to my summer is discipline. I have got to be disciplined to make this a profitable short 8 weeks of summer before school starts again. 

• I recognize that it gets over whelming when I know my time in the Word has not been as it should be and my time in prayer. It's at times like these I have to give myself a good kick in the butt to make that happen.

• Plan, I need plans and lists. I am a big list person. So, in order to do that I need to get my desk and my room organized. Then I can make lists. What do I need to make lists for currently? Excel, my budget. Summer and what I want my day to look like including when I wake, read the Bible, pray and exercise. A list and new schedule of responsibilities for my kids. I am finding this even more necessary with a large household and busy schedules with my kids working now too. All the driving takes time and so I need more help.  

Deuteronomy 8:2 says
"Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands"

This might seem like an odd verse to quote after this but I so often think of myself like the Israelite nation. Here Moses is affirming how God faithfully led and provided for them in the midst of idolatry, in the midst of hunger and thirst, in the midst of battle after battle once in the Land of Promise. He saw their hearts and He punished them and forgave them and returned blessing when they returned to Him. I am just so reminded of how much I am like them. My heart gets tested and I see how often I fail Him but I am oh so thankful that as I repent and and return to Him our relationship is restored as before. I'm so sorry, Father, that I take you and our relationship for granted.