Have you thought about the many ways our thoughts are formed regarding our husbands and marriage? I mean as I look back at my life these are the things which formed my views on what my husband would be like and what marriage would look like. I grew up watching Disney movies (ok I am old enough to have not had them on video but as actual first run movies in the theater). My favorite one was Cinderella. I wanted to be her. I then read fairy tales. I loved (still do) what we call chick flicks. One of my favorite fiction Christian authors is Lori Wick. Yes, even Christian fiction can have the same affect on us. These are things I like even now, but let me go back a bit to my jr. high years. I would buy bridal magazines and make "Bridal Books" for my friends. I would ask my friends all sorts of questions about their style wedding dress, the colors they wanted, long dress, short dresses. I'd choose the groom's tux, the cake, honeymoon locations, dish patterns, lol. (I am embarrassed to admit all this, but yes, it gets worse). In fact one of my friends told me not long ago she still has my book I made for her. I tried to forget that. Did you ever play that game where you took a piece of paper and made triangles out of it and on the different triangles I wrote oh, the names of young men I felt worthy of me, different types of housing and cars and occupations. Oh and different amounts of children I could end up with. Then I do this little trick of the hand and bam, I got the name of my husband and my house and car and how many children I would have, all laid out on a nice little piece of paper. I spent far too much time day dreaming on the opposite of Philippians 4:8-9, and not that it was necessarily "bad" things but I was developing thoughts of what I was going to expect from marriage and my husband early on. Poor Tom, if I had only known what the Lord has taught me now it would have saved him so much grief. What a patient man!
So, I guess I am cautioning that we guard our daughters hearts a bit more from the on set. Understanding that yes they are young and marriage is a long way down the road but these thoughts start young and build, so be careful what or how much you let society form for that future. Single women, think about some of these things. Are there any wrong thinking or "ideals" that are not in line with Scripture that need "backing out"? Young married women, do you now have expectations of your husband that are not in line with Scripture and is bound to set them up for failure? Do you have a right view of yourself and what your role will be or have you been thinking way too much on them full filling their role so perfectly?
I will tell you that Tom and I have been blessed to take many couples through pre-engagement and pre-marital counseling and we always state that marriage is hard work. One of the hardest things we have ever done. Yes, there are an abundance of blessings but there is also much iron sharpening iron. Two sinners around each other almost 24/7, both being sanctified together,makes for hard work. I want the "daughters" in my life to have a proper understanding of what marriage is. To be ready to give of themselves selflessly for their husbands not just expecting it to be about themselves. When we get done with our pre-marital couples, I would never want them to come back to us and say, "but you never said it would be like this."
So, in part 3 I want to glee over some Scripture passages about marriage and our roles as women, so as to avoid Cinderella Syndrome. We need to teach these things to our daughters, so that they can be the compliment to their husbands that the Lord intended. I think I am still just wanting to renew my mind on these thoughts as well.
